2010: A Space Oddity

The National Archives, this week released more than 6000 UFO sightings reported to the MoD over a period of 6 years.

Examples include, hurried sketches, anxious letters and Parliamentary questions from worried (crazy) witnesses of apparent alien activity.

The latest batch of reports sent in by "overzealous ufologists", refers to a time between 1994-2000, notably, a time when ‘The X-Files’ was at it’s peak.

The fifth instalment of documents is the latest to be released as part of a three year project with the Ministry of Defence which will see them make public the files from the last 10 years by the end of 2011. Isn’t it exciting Robbie Williams!?

Several sightings of the more ‘traditional’ shaped flying saucers were reported alongside flying "Toblerone" aircrafts, “tubes of light” and cases of what the enthusiasts refer to as “close encounters of the second kind”. Basically this refers to the physical effects that remain following sightings.

 

In one case, on 20 March 1997, a man from Birmingham gave an account of a large illuminated object hovering above his garden at 4am. The man claimed the craft shot off and left a “silky-white” substance, he collected this in a jar. Hmmmm... The report comments fail to mention whether the 1997 Dana Scully calendar was found in his garden or not.

A HANDBAG?

Kate Moss, 36 year old supermodel, role model, partygirl and fashionista, has teamed up with luxury label Longchamp to design a range of quality handbags. The collection includes cute party clutches, animal print shoppers and travel luggage made of exquisite soft red and black leather.

Moss teamed up with Longchamp's creative director Sophie Delafontaine to create the handbag range which centres on the popular and modern themes, 'Rock'n'Casual, Rock'n'Travel and Rock'n'Glam.'

Speaking to Vogue about the handbag range, Moss said,  "This one is great for Glastonbury - you can hold two drinks and put it over your shoulder, it's perfect!" Leaving both hands free! One for fags, one to sign a few autographs, maybe?

The first lot of luxury luggage hits boutiques and a few select department stores (Galeries Lafayette in Paris, Selfridges in London) on February 11. With price tags in the region of $990 dollars though im not sure you'll see too many youngsters sporting them at music festivals this year.

This isn't Moss's first foray into fashion design though, her four collections for Topshop have proved a massive hit amongst young people eager to copycat the waif's unique look. However, this is one collection i'm sure the teens of today won't be as keen to invest in! With prices so high purchasing classic timeless handbags seems much more appropriate than frittering away a grand for the sake of carrying two beers at Glastonbury!

If handbags as a social symbol are something you buy into though, then consider the Hermes Birkin or Marc Jacobs Stam. A few elegant classics and a couple of the most valued bags ever to have graced a celebrities arm.

Quite frankly, the garish silver buckles and zebra print accessories cheapen the Longchamp collection leaving them more Liz Mcdonald than Alexander McQueen.

God Bless America!

Jon Basso, owner of the Arizona based Heart Attack Grill (“A Taste Worth Dying For”) is suing fellow medically themed ‘restaurant’, Heart Stoppers Sports Grill, Florida, for pinching its ideas!

The Heart Attack Grill, whose menu features culinary delights such as the single through to quadruple bypass burger (four giant patties!), “flatliner fries” (deep fried in pure lard), and refreshing tooth decaying “Jolt Cola”, is locked in a federal legal battle with rival Heart Stoppers over similarities between the two greasy fast food joints.

Basso’s lawyer, Robert Cane, claims that the "Heart Attack Grill is the originator of the medically-themed hamburger grill” and is said to have found up to 30 ways in which Heart Stoppers is similar, including the alarming offer of free food to fatties over 350 pounds!

Heart Stoppers Grill denies it has ripped off Basso's ideas.

"It is not even related, it is a totally different concept," said its lawyer Eric Lee. "The owner was a rescue worker, he has a medical background, and so what he tried to do is a medically-themed restaurant.

"As far as I know their menu is quiet limited, they serve burgers, fries and alcohol and that's it. Whereas we, as a family restaurant, serve a whole bunch of things, like chicken wings."

I’m not interested in who wins to be totally honest, but I do find it odd that neither macabre establishment has itself been sued up until now.

Bed pan of butter anyone? No? Didn’t think so!

Bad News for Kerry Katona

A branch of Tesco in St Mellon's, Cardiff has a new dress code and if pyjama’s and slippers are a staple to your wardrobe (and you live in Cardiff) then you’re not going to like it.


Tesco has kindly asked some of its lazy shoppers to dress appropriately before coming to the store in case they embarrass other consumers, and rightly so I say! I honestly can’t come up with a reason to explain why anyone would want to buy their groceries whilst PJ clad and bear foot! There are no excuses for this laziness, none! Who in their right mind would go shopping bare foot? A Teletubby, maybe? Fred Flintstone, certainly! But in a modern, civilized society, a sign beseeching such a message should really have no place! The only signs I’d like to see in the entrance of supermarkets are those advertising guitar lessons, fat fighting clubs and taxi numbers.


Mother of two, Elaine Carmody, 24, was left red-faced and furious after being ejected from Tesco a few days ago. Preparing to embark on a £100 shopping spree, Carmody (who owns pj’s featuring “bears and penguins”), left the house suitably dressed in her finest night ware only to be asked to leave once entering her local Tesco supermarket.


Carmody said on the incident, "It's not as if they're going to fall down or anything like that. They should be happy because you're going to spend all that money. So they're going to lose their custom, with people going to other shops to buy stuff and they're allowed in with their pyjamas on.” Watch out Asda! You’re in for an influx of shoppers wearing nothing but fake Ugg’s and flannelette two pieces.

 Now then, I read a few amusing articles about this story, but nothing compared to the response from the disgruntled public. It would appear we are on the cusp of a pyjama revolution if any of these comments are anything to go by...


TESCO'S NEED TO GET OVA THERE SELFS PLEASE YOUR LOWER THN NETTO IT'S ONLY PJS GOD BEHAVE YOUR SELFS AND GET A LIFE PEOPLE HAVE MORE IMPORTANT STUFF TO DO THAN DRESS NICE TO GO TO A SHOP GROW UP GOD THEY HAVE KISD AND EVERYTHING BUT YOU WORK 24 HRS A DAYY LOSERS
Posted 29/01/2010 12:37:09
Posted by katieee1993

 hang on a minute.. what about the girls going in there on a friday night to get their bottle of vodka before they go clubbing? surely earing a belt as a skirt or a pair of tiny little shorts with a tiny little top is more offensive than pj's that cover everything! In the summer there are loads of people walking around in shorts and a vest top but no one complains about that! its rediculous! some people have better things to do than get glammed up for the weekly shop!
Posted 29/01/2010 12:55:06
Posted by kaydo

I have too agree. why cant you be bothered to just put some clothes on!! no wonder divorce is so high if people give up on there appearance and cant be bothered just throwing on some jeans and a t-shirt!! tesco's are not asking for you to do your whole hair and make up!!!
kids are not an excuse to give up on your appearance and the only excuse for wearing pjs in the supermarket is if it is the middle of the night. There are really problems going on in the world! get over it.
Look at the women in the pic, just a typical chav!
Posted 29/01/2010 22:12:20
Posted by Joz


My thoughts EXACTLY! And actually, now I think about it, I’m sure the real reason I’m from a broken home is because my mum never got dressed!


So next time you’re in Tesco and you see Kerry Katona in her tartan nightie and fluffy slippers, make sure you inform the appropriate authorities.