You Know What Really Grinds My Gears

I’ve had a dash of the mean reds this week. Please rest assured I’m not about to commence on an explicitly revealing blog detailing my womanly monthlies, I’m merely referring to that mood where everything around you irritates you. First highlighted by Holly Golightly in Truman Capote’s ‘Breakfast at Tiffany’s’, the mean reds are similar to the blues but are located further down the mood spectrum. Your troubled state of mind causes you to cry at RSPCA adverts and people laughing leaves you fuming, mostly because you can’t muster a smile, let alone indulge in a spot of giggling! In light of my misery (ha!) I’ve written a list of my pet peeves. In no particular order...

3D films, 3D televisions, 3D glasses, Disney 3D, James Cameron.

Being on a cheapo London Midland train and having a smug Virgin woosh past.

 

Any electric guitar whilst I’m dashing around, Underground. I’m a music fan, honestly. I often throw my change at white bearded men with clarinets and old dancing puppets but the amount of screechy Springsteen’s and rubbish Radiohead covers is beginning to make the bus look rather inviting.

Playing Brick Breaker and absorbing a ‘flip’. Omfg.

10 Downing Street. Mess.

Lee Evans and Jimmy Carr. Sorry boys, I’ve tried to like you, I really have. It’s just isn’t happening. That goes for you too Chegger’s and Edmunds.

Kate Thornton. I’m not sorry for disliking you. You seem mean; you’re so insincere and always very abrupt. Perhaps you take a tube to work in the morning and encounter an electric guitar? In which case, you’re excused. Loose Women is an afternoon show though Kate, you really have no reason to be so unhappy. You should have snapped out of the morning mean reds by now. Whilst I’m on the subject though, I want to add all the Loose Women to my inventory of worsts, working alongside Jane Macdonald would make anyone miserable. I think I just don’t like you Kate. I’m not going to try and justify it any longer. I also don’t like Ruth what’s-her-name? Triangle Face, Mrs Ealmon Holmes to be. Well her, massive pointy thing. Also, Gail Platt.

Facebook groups. ANNONYMOUS became a fan of ‘Don't You Just Hate It When Someone Interferes In Your Relationship’ and 36 other profiles. FFS. KMT. WTF. :(

Age, that’s on my list. What an unfortunate thing to bestow upon the youth! Id like not to dwell on this. It's aging me since im frowning so.

People sitting next to me on public transport, I’m not proud of myself about this but it does something to my mood. Like these idiots have come along with the sole intention of purposely making me lose my place in a book and to sit on my coat. Deep down I know this is unfounded but it still gets me. It really does. Sigh.

People who start sentences with, “I’m not racist, but..” Enough said.

I could certainly add to this list but rambling is another thing that I find particularly tiresome (and something I’m frequently guilty of) SO my plan is to just join, become a member of or even create groups on Facebook. That way everyone will know just how Goddamn serious I am.